March 2010
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I don't like "March Madness". That's what I called...
Namaste (Definition) "All that is best and...
Doing some kegel exercises right now. Bowflex® has...
Prius Help...
I have a friend with a Prius if there is anyone that wants to get even with an ex…I mean…need to borrow a fuel efficient car…*wink*
#worldsworstsupportgroup
When your woman said she was going out for some polish sausage that’s not what you had in mind huh? Stop crying! #worldsworstsupportgroup
My reality show...
My reality show is my back window, the one that faces the house full of narcissistic exhibitionists. Aw yeah!
Hump Day!
It’s hump day! Bend over world, I’m coming…well eventually. I do do tantra.
Elizabeth....I'm coming to join you!!!!
I remember as a kid when I found out that “Junk” meant a man’s “Stuff”. I finally understood why Fred Sanford always walked so funny.
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Whoa....
Overheard a woman complaining about her boyfriend leaving just after she got his name tattooed on her face. Gee, I wonder why he left her…
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Just Wondering...
Why did my ex nickname my junk “Milk?” Because it does a body good? Because of the discharge? Because it regularly comes out of a cow? What?
Nice Lady...
A lady was selling PDA’s. I…uh…misunderstood. I would like to thank the nice lady selling the Blackberry for not calling the cops.
Just an opinion...
Irresponsible use of a fire alarm…creative way to get a better parking space….To-“MAY”-to…To-“MAH”-to.
Problem solved!
Healthcare crisis solved! I’m going to try to get dual American/Canadian citizenship. Take that special interest groups & racist protesters!
Hmmm...
I wonder…which one of my testicles is the “Evil” twin?
Just wondering...
Is eating skinny women healthier?
...a secret...
*whispering* I know who wins the Oscars 2nite…here we go…*Gunshots*… My dog!!…Uh, I was mistaken. I know nothing…
You cannot disagree!!!!
Vagina. The ultimate killer app.
Just wondering?...
What is the gift for 60 years of marriage?…A suicide pact?
The start...
Why do they use a pistol to start races? I mean did we just turn people running from a gun crazed madman into a sport?
Officer?...
Officer, my drivers license is in the back pocket…of my pants…which are at home…so…you DON’T want me to get out of the car now?
Bluetooth...
Bluetooth, build a filter that turns idiotic conversations that I can’t help but overhear into something interesting! Killer app alert!
My Oscar Predictions...
My Oscar predictions: I won’t give a f*ck & I won’t be watching. That is all!
Noise...
Some guys like when women make noise in bed. I prefer the applause and the bottomless post sex interview with Hannah Storm.
Thisclose...
We are thisclose to having commercials for commercials in commercials. Enough already!!!! STFU!!!!
Just saying...
Just saw the promo for the new show “Minute to win it” We humans officially have been at the top of the food chain too long.
